Cooking With The Stars #56. This Week: Chris Brown

Chris bites off Rihanna’s ear for disrespecting his Duck A L’orange


 In this edition Chris shows us how to beat an egg.

Yo blood! What the fuck’s happening dawg?  You just take one motherfuckin’ egg, know what I’m sayin’? You make sho’ you don’t take no shit from that motherfucker though, you hear me blood?
Then you take dat egg bitch fo’ a ride in yo’ wheels, ‘cos you never know if dat honey gone git freaky on yo’ ass and start shootin’ off at da lip.
Den when yo ass and dat egg ass is far way from yo’ yard, you beat the fuckin’ shit outta dat mofo till all you got left is mushknow what ah’m sayin’  homeboy?
Den you ‘pologise to yo’ egg and the motherfuckin‘ press fo’ beatin’ on dat egg ass. Den you go git yo’sel’ nother egg and make yo’sel’ a nice motherfuckin’ omlette. 

Next Week: Kneading Dough To Make Homemade Bread With Salt n Pepper. Here’s a taster:
“Oooo baby baby, ooo baby baby! Push it! Push it! Push it real good!”

Don’t miss next month’s bumper Xmas edition when the doyen of TV chefs, Deliah Smith, demonstrates how to make a nourishing broth from leftover turkey while ripped to the tits on fizzy lager and creme de menthe.



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3 responses to “Cooking With The Stars #56. This Week: Chris Brown

  1. Deliah ‘ripped to the tits!’ Surely not? One half time error of judgement and the poor maid’s reputation in ruins for eternity. Shame on you. Regards, Gordon Ramsey.



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