82 Year Old Man Joined French Foreign Legion “By Mistake”

French Foreign Legion - Old Man.jpg

An elderly British man has told of a 10 year ordeal after he enlisted in the French Foreign Legion by mistake while on holiday with his wife in Algeria in 2003

Jed Carter, 92, from Sheffield, revealed how, over the last decade, he’d seen active service with the legendary, crack troops in various trouble spots across the world, including Iraq, Afghanistan and The Democratic Republic Of Congo, where, his gallantry earned him The Legion D’Honuer, France’s equivalent of the Victoria Cross.

Although under fire from militia from the  notorious Lord’s Resistance Army and despite being badly wounded, he single-handedly stormed the rebel stronghold, armed only with an assault rifle and a grenade, killing 15 enemy combatants and taking 5 prisoners.

He was eventually invalided out in January 2013 after a severe bout of Black Water Fever, picked up in the jungles of Guyana, left him unfit to continue military service.

Speaking to reporters from outside his bungalow in Rotherham, which he shares with wife Vera, 109, and 6 cats, he said “While I’m very proud of my military career I could have done without it to be honest with you, especially at my time of life. When I spotted this building with the words Legion Etranger over the door I thought it was the Algerian branch of The British Legion and popped in for a couple of pints and  a game of darts or bar billiards with the locals. I signed what I took to be the guest’s entry book and then the next thing I knew I was parachuting into the jungle in Belize to quell an uprising by insurgent militiamen who were involved in a coup to overthrow the government.

“Over the next 10 years I fought in trouble spots right across the globe, alongside comrades from as far afield as Hungary and New Zealand to name but two. They were a great bunch of lads in all fairness, whose courage and soldiering expertise were second to none, but I did miss Vera’s hotpots and going down the pensioners pop-in for a chin wag with our friends of a Saturday evening.”

​In an unrelated case a 16 year old girl, also from Sheffield, has told of being forced to have a sing song round the piano before having her corns treated, after drunkenly mistaking an old people’s home for a night club.

Image by Mina

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6 Comments

Filed under Comedy, Humor, Humour, Satire

6 responses to “82 Year Old Man Joined French Foreign Legion “By Mistake”

  1. Ron Greenwood’s West Ham comes to mind – you are plainly on the top of your game!

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    • Cheers Mike. I must admit even I had a little chuckle when I read it back. Narcissistic? Moi? 🙂
      I don’t think Mr Greenwood would have approved though. He’s have probably sent me to the dressing room to clean Harry Rednapps pants.

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  2. Wat to go Jed!!!

    Those northerners are tough buggers.

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  3. Didn’t notice tbh E.F. but your secret’s safe with me my friend. I may be many things but a low down copper’s nark aint one of em 😉

    Like

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