Italian Government To Pardon War Heroes

A small band of Italian special forces launch a furious assault on a gents outfitters at the height of The Battle Of The Bulge.



In a move that will gladden the hearts of the families of Italian servicemen who displayed remarkable courage in the face of the enemy during World War II, the Italian government are set to grant an official pardon that will finally exonerate the  tiny handful of soldiers concerned.

A spokesman for the Italian defence ministry issued a statement last night “We feel that it’s unfair for families of ex servicemen, many of whom were quite unnecessarily  killed in action, to continue to bear the stigma attached to any form of heroism shown by our troops during the last war, and so with this in mind, the government has decided to issue any soldier, who failed to surrender to The Allies almost as soon as war broke out, with a pardon. While we can never condone any form of valour or fighting spirit shown in the face of the enemy we do feel that it’s time that the innocent living relatives of these, thankfully few individuals, can hold their heads up in public again and begin to rebuild their lives”

Last night we spoke to the grandson of Corporal Guiseppe Meo, an infantryman who saw action during the Allied invasion of Sicily, and who lost his life while rescuing a wounded colleague, despite being under a murderous barrage of British machine gun fire.. “This is absolutely wonderful news, not just for my family but for all the relatives that have had to live their lives under a dark cloud of shame due to the selfless and admirable heroism of their fathers and grandfathers. My father used to tell me of the terrible bullying he had to undergo at school when word got out that my grandfather had shown great courage under fire, instead of throwing in the towel without firing a shot, like the fathers of all the other kids in the school. My grandmother suffered greatly too, she was tarred and feathered in the town square and had “War Hero’s Whore” painted on her front door.”

We tried to get a statement from the Italian armed forces last night but when they saw us coming they all locked themselves in the toilet

Image plundered from the web by Clivey but you never heard me say that, right?



Filed under Humour, Satire

2 responses to “Italian Government To Pardon War Heroes

  1. What can I say – ‘brilliant’ comes to mind!



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